Immortality breakthrough! Read all about it!
Transhumanists, for those who haven't stumbled across them, want to use genetic engineering, nanotech robots, neural interfaces with computers, and other ultra-tech gizmos to produce what they variously call "posthumanity" and "homo perfectus."
One core transhumanist come-on - in fact, the very first plank of "The Transhumanist Declaration" - is "redesigning the human condition" so as to banish aging. Transhumanists talk about "extreme longevity" and "radical life extension." More than a few believe that technology-enabled immortality is just around the corner. For those of us alive today, they say, the trick is to hang on long enough for the rapture - oops, I mean "longevity escape velocity."
Okay, it's silly. But given their aspirations, you'd expect the transhumanists to have some exceptional insights into staying healthy and hale. So it was with a bit of eagerness - I admit it - that I clicked to see the list.
And now, without further ado - drum roll - here's tip number one: Eat your fruits and veggies.
Tip number two: Avoid sodas and chips.
Other radical advice includes wearing your seatbelt and getting plenty of exercise.
To be fair, there are several hints unique to transhumanism. Tip number seven: send us money. And, tip number eight, just in case all of the above doesn't work: Freeze your head. Helpfully, Dvorsky includes links to the websites of two cryogenics companies.
The punch line to this one? "And they lived happily ever after."