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A white male reads over a pile of genetic testing kit contents on a kitchen stove top.

There is a direct-to-consumer (DTC) genetic testing company that gives parents the opportunity to uncover their kids’ “hidden” talents. You can (allegedly) find out if your child has the genetic propensity for things like dancing, passion, intelligence, self-reflection and even teenage romance. The company suggests that this information is valuable because it “will help you take control and maximize the development of your child,” including personalizing “discipline strategies” and career guidance so you can maximize your “returns on your investments” (because, let’s face it, kids are a financial sinkhole).

This is all scientifically absurd, of course. And any product based on the principle of having your kids do what you tell them seems destined to disappoint. Has the marketing team ever met a teenager?

But, despite the lack of evidence, these kooky kinds of DTC services continue to proliferate and have become big business. In China, for example, there has been a rise in genetic testing as many parents take their kids to “talent detection” facilities in the hope of gleaning information to inform education and career decisions.

There...