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Women inseminated with a donor's sperm used to be advised to tell no one. Go home, doctors said, make love to your husband and pretend that worked. But in a trend that mirrors that of adoption — from secrecy to openness — more parents now do plan to tell such children how they were conceived and are seeking advice on how best to do that.
Tina Gulbrandson understands the temptation of secrecy. She felt stigma and pain when she needed to use another woman's eggs to get pregnant.
"You feel incompetent," she says. "You feel like you failed, as a woman."
Gulbrandson and her husband, Patrick, knew no one in their Maryland suburb who'd used donor eggs. Still, they decided to be open about it. "It's sort of a grieving process and talking about it makes it easier," she says. "And it lets other people know that there are other couples going through this, and that it is OK."
As she speaks, her 7-month-old daughter plays happily on a blanket full of toys. Waverly is a blue-eyed beauty and proof...
Tina Gulbrandson understands the temptation of secrecy. She felt stigma and pain when she needed to use another woman's eggs to get pregnant.
"You feel incompetent," she says. "You feel like you failed, as a woman."
Gulbrandson and her husband, Patrick, knew no one in their Maryland suburb who'd used donor eggs. Still, they decided to be open about it. "It's sort of a grieving process and talking about it makes it easier," she says. "And it lets other people know that there are other couples going through this, and that it is OK."
As she speaks, her 7-month-old daughter plays happily on a blanket full of toys. Waverly is a blue-eyed beauty and proof...